January 2011 Tidbits

Tess is currently in the bathtub pouring water over her head and singing: "I'm getting baptized, yes I am, yes I am!"

Tess' response to just about anything I ask her to do: "Maybe after."

Tess' song as we take down the Christmas decorations: "Christmas is over, I'm so sad, I'm so sad in my heart!"

Drew was crying today and Tess chided him: "Baby brother, stop being so bossy!"

I asked Tess to do something while she was playing with her "lil 'puter": "One minute, Mom. I have to check my email."

Turns out the only reason Tess was OK with taking down the Christmas decorations was because she was under the unnegotiable impression that we were putting up Valentine's Day decorations. It's January 3rd and our window is covered in hearts. "Happy Valentine's Day to you, Mom!"

We're on Potty Training: Round 2, and things are not going well. Yesterday, Tess asked for an M&M after one of the many times she wet her pants.

Me: "Tess, I can only give you an M&M if you go to the potty when your panties are dry."

Tess: "Mom, let's put them in the dryer!"

At the very end of the day yesterday, I was able to give Tess an M&M for at least trying to go potty when her pants were dry. Later she said to me, "Congra-da-lay-shuns!"

Me: "Thanks, Tess! Congratulations for what?"

Tess: "Congra-da-lay-shuns for me going to the potty!"

I was trying to get Tess ready for playschool this morning when she interrupted me: "One minute, Mom. I check on baby brother and give him hug and kiss. I gonna miss him!"

It's not yet 10 am and I've changed 6 diapers today.

On Dad's recommendation, I picked up a book by Anthony Doerr at the library today. When I mentioned to Ryan that I got a Doerr book, he sounded unsure how to react and asked, "OK, well which Dora book did you get?" Says a lot about the extent of my recent intellectual undertakings.

I was helping Tess finish her dinner last night by feeding it to her "airplane style." I was ready to spoon her another bite when she said, "Wait, Mama!," picked up a single grain of rice and placed it in the spoon. "Another passenger," she explained.

Tess came over, threw her arms around my neck and gave me a big hug. "What's that for?" I asked, expecting her to say, "Because I love you." Her reply: "Because you love me!"

Tess loves playing in the bathtub. I just went in to see if she was ready to get out of the tub and she said, "No, Mom. I not shibering." Apparently a bath is not over until your teeth are chattering.

Tess likes it when I make baby brother "talk" to her. This morning Drew was crying because he was hungry and he "said" to her: "Tess, I'm soooo hungry! Tell Mommy to get me a bottle!" Tess advised: "Drew, you have to say please!"

While talking about Drew last night, Tess said, "He's such a cute guy."

While playing in the snow, Tess spotted some dog paw prints. "Look, Mom, a clue! Let's follow them to the MYSTERY! Put on your binoculators!" Too much Blue's Clues?

For some reason, Tess has been asking for her sunglasses that she broke last summer, and I finally threw away. When I told her I couldn't fix them, she explained patiently in very simple terms: "Mom, you just take a little nail thing and put it in the little hole. Then turn, turn, turn the little screwy thing. Turn, turn, turn. See, it easy for me!"

Tess was looking at Drew when she suddenly noticed her reflection in his eyes: "Mom, baby brother has Tesses in his eyes!"

A new frequent Tess phrase: "Mom, that a good idea!" Used when she likes my plans. Another variant: "Mom, that a good idea?" Used when she has plans of her own.

Another new phrase: "Mom, let's talk."

"Mom, I'm a mommy." Tess uses this argument when she wants to do something only "mommies" get to do. Like use scissors, give baby brother his medicine or play the "face game" (aka "Catan") on the computer.

One day this week I actually did my hair and Tess said, "Mom, I love your hair! You look like a teacher!" Thanks...I think.

Another Tess nickname for Drew: "Little Born Baby."

Seven weeks old, and Drew slept for 6 1/2 hours last night!

The other night at dinner, Tess offered what may be the shortest prayer ever uttered. Ryan's response: "Well, we won't be calling her Enos anytime soon."

Tess saw Drew blowing bubbles: "He look like he have GUM!"

Tonight, out of the blue, Tess shared her thoughts about China. Some bits and pieces from our conversation:

Ryan: 'Tess, where is China?"

Tess: "Far, far away, Dad."

...

Tess: "I wish I live in China."

Ryan: "You do? Why?"

Tess: "They have cool stuff there. Make some papers, do some tricks, and have a puppet show. The puppet show is quiet. That's stuff I like to do. I like to live there."

Ryan: "Tess, where did you learn about China?"

Tess: "From the TV."

Tess kindly offered me a bite of her plastic grapes tonight, but she made sure that I didn't take advantage of her offer. "Dad, those are not your grapes. Acksally, those are my grapes." (I didn't know that the word actually was a part of her vocabulary.)

Tess was having a grumpy morning today and I asked her if she was OK.

Tess: "No, Mom. Something a little bit wrong."

Me: "What's wrong?"

Tess: "I feel a little bit sick."

Me: "You do? What's wrong?"

Tess: "Baby brother fighted me."

Me: "He fighted you?"

Tess: "Yes. Last week. Baby brother fighted me last week and I feel sick."

Apparently she took quite the beating.

"Awwww! Baby brother look like a person!"

When we were getting ready to leave this morning, Tess told me she needed to bring her Teddy bear in his carseat.

Me: "I didn't know you had a carseat for your bear. Where did you get it?"

Tess: "I bought it online."

Tonight in the bath, Tess told me she needed some "sunblock" and proceeded to rub her arms and cheeks with soap. Then she lay down in the tub and started splashing water all over herself. "I at the SPRINKLE PARK!" (That's what she calls the sprayground near our house.)

My two babies were in the bathtub together last night. For some reason that made me happy.

Let's just say that if Tess tells you that someone "smells interesting," she doesn't mean it as a compliment.

I asked Tess why she won't use the potty instead of diapers. "Cuz Mom, I still smaller."

When I finished having a stern talk with Tess about a behavior problem, she asked me, "Mom, why your wrinkled forehead?"

Tess burned through the batteries on her lil 'puter. "Mom, my website broken!"

A new Tess phrase: "That not fair!"

When Drew was crying, Tess startled giggling and said, "He speaking SPANISH!"

This morning Tess was pretending that she (and everybody else) was a kangaroo. She introduced me to her teddy bear and told me he was her baby kangaroo. "His name Joey!"

Yesterday I told Tess we needed to go to the grocery store. "What name?" she asked. I told her we were going to Giant. When we got there she asked, "Mom, this the BIG grocery store?"

A new Tess phrase: "That not nice!"

When I told Tess she couldn't play with my lipstick, she found a paintbrush to use as her "lipstick." She told me that her lipstick smells like butterflies. She also told me that she has a "keeper place" for her lipstick because "I no have a pocket." When I asked to see her "keeper place," she lifted up her shirt to reveal the paintbrush sticking out the top of her diaper. Periodically she'll say, "Oh, I forgot my lipstick!," then whip the paint brush out of her diaper and liberally apply butterfly-scented lipgloss.

Tess often asks how different kinds of fruits and vegetables grow. She knows that some grow in the ground, some on vines or bushes and some grow on trees. Today she asked me how M&M's grow.

Tess is standing at the window yelling at our neighbor shoveling the snow off our walk. "No, no, no! That my snow! Please no take my snow! I make a big snowman! That not nice!"

"Mom, I pooped on the carpet."

A new Tess phrase: "I have a question a you. My question is...."

Tess was playing with her Abby Cadabby doll and I asked her if Abby is a fairy. "No, she from Sheshame Street. She just a character."

I showed Tess Drew's very long eyelashes. "I don't believe it! He need haircut-eyes!"

Tess has started calling her baby brother "Drewey." Very cute.

"When I'm older, I go to a factory like Charlie."

Another tearful, anxiety-ridden Sunday morning for Tess. Of all her excuses why she cannot go to Primary, only one really gets me: "But Mommy, I gonna MISS you at Primary! I miss you!"

"Mom, I get bigger I get a sewing machine! I make something cool! I make a dress!"

Tonight Tess was looking for Miriam's purse to return her keys. She called out, "Purse, purse, where are you, purse? Talk to me!"

After Tess sneezes she immediately says, "Bless you!"

"Sorry, Mom, I made a mistake. Know what 'stake means? It means I mixed up."