Tess: "Daddy, do you know how I know I was on the good list this year?"
Ryan: "No, I don't know."
Tess: "Santa Claus came on a fire engine down Nana and Papa's street and Nana and Papa ran outside and asked Santa, 'Was Tess good this year?' And Santa said, 'Yes, Tess was perfect this year!'"
Tess asked about the 80's music video Ryan & I were watching on VH1. He told her it was music from a long time ago. Tess: "You mean from the time when there were dinosaurs?"
Tess: "Do you know what the hardest, hardest thing is about Christmas?"
Ryan: "No, what?"
Tess: "The hardest thing is you keep wondering, 'Have I been good? Have I been good? Have I been good?' People say to relax, but I can't relax."
"Mom, does the Easter Bunny care if you've been nice? Why does Santa have to worry so much about it at Christmas time? It makes it so hard to relax."
Tess: "When I grow up, I want to be a monkey!"
Tess: "Daddy, do you know why they're called 'missionaries'?"
Ryan: "Why?"
Tess: "Because when they go far away you miss them!"
Tess and Ryan have been locked away upstairs for the past 2 hours working on my Christmas present from Tess. She has only emerged on two occasions to request a safety pin and a nail. Raising my curiosity.
Drew was in the bathtub and he kept throwing out all of his bath toys. Frustrated, I finally gathered them all up and put them away. He then spread out in the tub, looked at me with a big smile and said: "Fish!"
Tess: "The 'throw up' germ looks like a green frog wearing a party hat. I saw a picture of it in a book at school. The 'sore throat' germ looks like a purple giraffe with polka dots. And the 'headache' germ looks like a hammer."
Tess told Drew that her birthday is tomorrow, and he's been singing, "Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you!"
Tess' Primary teacher was out of town for several weeks because her father died. Today we passed a cemetery and Tess said: "I wonder if Sister Cumming's dad is in that garden over there because you know he died. And I think he's still dead."
Progress report on Drew's colors:
Green = "GEEN!"
Yellow = "SUN!"
Red = "Daddy's car."
Blue = "PUR-PA!"
The best visiting teacher ever just brought us a surprise dinner for our Christmas present. Tess: "Awwww! She's just like a mom!"
Ryan: "I don't know. Maybe he figured out how to hit the keys with his hands together."
Tess: "Maybe he used some sharp scissors to cut his hands apart and then he used a sewing machine to sew them back together!"
More Drew-speak:
"car-shees" (Drew for "crackers)
"K" (Drew for "OK," when he agrees with something)
"Tinky" (Drew needs a diaper change)
Every time I ask Drew what color something is, he responds with a huge grin on his face: "Pur-pah!" He may not know what color it is, but he knows it's NOT purple. He's a big tease.
Ryan: "Tess, Christmas is on December twenty...."
Tess: "Twenty-fifth!"
Ryan: "That's right!"
Tess: "How'd I know that?!! I'M IMPRESSED!!!!!"
"Gee-gup! Gee-gup!" (Drew's version of "giddy-up," most commonly used when climbing on my back.)
"Mom, what do you want for Christmas...out of paper?"
I told the kids that if they were good for their doctor appointments, I'd take them to Wendy's for lemonade. Tess was very excited: "You mean we get to go to Nana's?!!"
Tess and I (Ryan) had a discussion about the story of Jonah and the "whale." Her reaction to the notion of being swallowed by a whale: "It would be sooo boring. You couldn't watch TV in there and you couldn't go to school and learn. It would be yucky in there with seaweed and fish. You would need to take a bath when you got out."
Tess: "Daddy, today I saw Santa at the mall. I didn't need to sit on his lap because I already sent him a letter."
Tess taught our FHE lesson tonight. She gave us three clues as her introduction: "Who died a long time ago but is still alive today?" "Who was born in a belly named 'M'?" "Who is King?"
Tess and I were cuddling in bed this morning when the alarm on my iPod went off. "I guess iPods don't know when you have a little girl or boy snuggling in bed with you."
"Sometimes I get confused if I'm a boy or a girl."
"Sometimes I can't tell if I am in a dream."
On seeing a Red Cross sign: "That's a first add kit!"
Morley's appearance (he's our Elf on the Shelf): "This is the first time Morley has been to our new house. We need to make him feel welcome."
Cold air in car: "That's okay, Mom. This is what December is all about."
"When I get home and take off my shoes, my feet smell like chips. Old chips." Thanks for the info, Tess.
Tess is finally getting excited for her birthday party tomorrow, now that I've convinced her that it will really be December. She's made signs that say "Put Presents Here" and "Warning: Tess' Spot" (for her seat at the table). Heaven help me.
I've been trying to teach Drew to put his clothes in the laundry room after I change him. This morning I changed him out of his PJ's and a stinky diaper, which I put at the top of the stairs to take down after I got dressed. I was headed down when I noticed there was no diaper to be found. "Drew," I asked, "Where's your stinky diaper?" "Come," he proudly replied with a beaming face. He dragged me by the finger to the washing machine, where I found the diaper sitting inside. Sure am I glad I found it before I unknowingly did my next load of laundry!
Conversation tonight in the car:
Tess: "You know when Dad and I are learning about something new, we look it up on the computer. You know Dad is really smart?"
Me: "Yes, he is really smart. Did you know that's one of his talents--finding answers to questions?"
Tess: "Oh. I thought you were going to say his talent was being a really good dad."
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