February 2014 Tidbits

Tess: "I'm going to put this button in my pocket where it will be safe, just like it's in jail."

Tess drew a picture of what she would look like at 100 years old. Underneath the words "If I were 100 years old...," she wrote, "I would knit and teach." Ryan: "Tess, where would you teach? Elementary school, high school?" Tess: Law school."

The only way I can get Tess to do her writing homework without a lot of whining and frustration is to pretend she's a writer working on a story for a newspaper. Her room is the office of "Miss Higginbotham, the writer." I'm the boss with a pressing deadline who comes in periodically to praise her work and pay her in gummi bears. Her spelling list is our list of "sponsors" who insist that their names be spelled correctly for "advertising" purposes.

Tess (discussing goose bumps): "I have spots on my body like when I am in the bathtub and half my body is in the water and half is out. It's like part of my body is jealous of the other."

Tess (after coming down into the basement): "The basement feels like when the deeper you go in the ocean, the colder it gets. It feels like the bottom of the ocean down here."

Drew: "Dad, I want be a superhero when grow up."

Drew: "I want bigger hands, just like Mommy. I want to grow my hands."

Drew was pleased to go to the drugstore with me. "Walgreens have my favorite color!"

Drew was curled up in a blanket on his tummy. "I a snail."

Drew: "Pee-peez" (his way of saying "pretty please"; he says it dozens a times a day). It sounds like he constantly needs to go to the bathroom.

I cannot cook, bake, or mix anything without Drew running to grab a mixing spoon and a stool so he can reach the counter. He's becoming quite a good helper in the kitchen.

While I was eating some chips out of a bag, Drew came to my side every few minutes for a few chips. He said, "Dad, when I make my fingers like this (he arranged his index finger and thumb into a claw), it means I want more chips."

Drew (after I finished reading him a book): "Dad, sometimes I like to say, 'The end. Good book!'"

Drew's musings on french poodles: "Poodles go to the Eiffel Tower. They have to climb and climb to get food. They have to get some food in France."

My attempt to teach Tess about tact backfired. Talking about snack bars, she complained that the only bar left was an apple cinnamon one, which Drew happens to love. She said, "I don't like that kind of bar! It's so yucky!" I replied, "Tess, some people like that kind of bar. You can say, 'I like other kinds of bars better' or 'It's not my favorite kind of bar.'" Tess responded, "But it's so yucky." Drew, listening to this exchange, said, "Dad, I like to eat yucky things!"