September 2011 Tidbits

Yesterday I was getting dressed when Tess yelled up to me that my cell phone was ringing. I heard the phone, ran downstairs to answer it, but there was no one on the line. "It not your phone, Mom. I was just joking you! It the computer! It sound like your phone!" Apparently, the Sesame Street computer game she was playing made a ringing sound similar to my phone. She thought she was very funny.

While watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse this morning, Tess said, regarding Mickey's dog: "His name is Pluto. Just like the small planet."

Tess' words last night before falling asleep: "Daddy, I'm not sleepy. I can't fall asleep." 
Tess' first words this morning after waking up: "Daddy, I'm not sleepy. I can't fall asleep." (She seemed completely unaware that she had slept for ten hours in the meantime.)

"The hallway is too dark for me to sleep."

"I need someone to sleep with me. I need someone big to sleep with me. I need a big boy or a big girl to sleep with me. The bonk bed won't broke." 

OK, we're done with preschool. She made a card for her teacher that we're going to take tomorrow and then bid our adieus.

Tess told me she didn't want to go to school because she'd be the last one to get her lunch box again. She said they have to sit on the carpet and be called to get their lunch box. I asked her what you have to do to get your name called and she said, "You have to sit on the carpet and do nothing wrong." So I asked what she was doing on the carpet that got her picked last. She said, "My stomach was hurting and I was missing my mommy."

Tess spotted some of our number candles in the pantry and asked what they were for. I told her we used the number 3 candle for her last birthday, when she reminded me that we also used it for my last birthday. 
Tess: "You turned 3, Mom?" 
Me: "Nope, I turned 35."
Tess: "Whoa! That a really big number, Mom. Really big."

"My mommy drink Dr. Pepper every day."

"What if somebody take my mommy when I at school? Then who can be my mommy?"

"What if one of the other mommies take me at school and take me home? They can't do that!"

Tess had a major, howling, hysterical, leg-kicking, hyperventilating, face-scratching conniption fit at preschool Tues. morning. It was ugly. UGLY!!! I had stayed with her the first 45 mins of class, and she was teary and clingy the whole time I was there. When I tried to leave, all hell broke loose. Her teacher tried to pick her up and she started thrashing like a wild animal. I finally took her outside, where continued to freakout. She wanted school, but needed me to stay. I finally told her she had to pick school or home. She said school, so I opened the back door a crack and kind of shoved her in, and her teacher took her into class and I left. When I picked her up, she was all smiles and her teacher said she stopped crying after 5 minutes. 

Out of nowhere, Tess pointed to one of her canine teeth and told me, "Mom, you see? One of my teeth looks like an animal tooth!"

Ryan: "Tess, how do I start Family Home Evening?"
Tess, adopting a deep voice: "Welcome to Family Home Evening." She then adds, referring to my introduction, "It's kinda boring." 

As I helped Tess out of the car after arriving at the restaurant, I said, "Tess, do you want to bring your coloring book to do some coloring before we get our food?" Tess: "That's okay, Dad. I can just talk to you." 

When I shampoo Tess' hair, she loves it when I sculpt her soapy hair so that it sticks straight up on her head like a Kewpie doll. She then admires the reflection of her hair in the tub spout. Her comment last bathtime: "I have temple hair!"

Tess was excited when she saw the "Diary of a Worm" book I picked out for her at the library. "Look, Mom! It say 'Diary of a Wimpy Worm!"

Somehow Drew just completely skipped over the "12 month" size of clothing. Or maybe I just dressed him in too-tight onesies all summer long.

Tess heard me discussing Ryan & Miranda's exciting news on the phone that they're going to have twins. It's funny because when I told our Ry that they were pregnant, he misunderstood and thought I meant they were having twins. Turns out he was right! I told him, "I guess you really are a prophet!" Tess got very excited and said, "Mom--Dad a prophet now?!!!"

Another April Fool's joke idea from Tess: "Mom, you can growl on the phone to Dad and he not know who it is!"

I came downstairs to find Tess peeking out while hiding in the corner behind the couch. When I asked what she was doing, she told me, "I camouflaging! See? My shirt kind red like the couch and you can't see me!"

Tess pointed to the Easter studio photo of her and Drew, in which she was giving a fake, forced smile. Out of nowhere she explained to Ryan: "I have a 'babysitter smile' with bracelets on my teeth. That why I smile like that." Ryan asked what "bracelets" are and she said, "they what babysitters have on their teeth." 

"Mom, you be-member what April Fool's is? It when you take someone's clock and get it a different number they don't know. That funny?"

"Mom, you know sometimes if my underwear's wet I pretend it dry so I get an MM."

It's kind of killing me that I have no idea what Tess is doing for 4 hours when she's at preschool. She's not very forthcoming with details.

Drew + teeth = little sleep. I fear I may never be not tired again.

Sunday morning Tess told me, "Mom, I want 'nother Saturday. I like Saturday cuz it's my favorite. I love to play with my dad."

Today Tess told Ryan: "Lauren say that Jesus' brother make the wind. That funny!" When probed further, Tess didn't know who is Jesus' brother.

Tess was helping me clean out the Nursery closet today. She pointed to the rooms next to the baptismal font: "That not where you go potty. That where you get bat-ized."

Tess: "Dad, you know having two kids is hard 'cause there is only one mommy." 

Drew is an enthusiastic and appreciative eater. He sings a chorus of "M-m-m, m-m-m, u-m-m, o-m-m" throughout his meals.

When I tell Drew "good job" or "good boy," he claps for himself.

"Mom, I don't want Drew to grow up. He's so cute."
Last night Tess told me she was excited to show Dad a small toy I let her pick out at the thrift store. "Mom, Dad going to freak out!"